Autopilot
by Sehanine
Summary: For Severus Snape, every day during the war was exactly the same.


Every day was the same. Get out of bed. Shower. Brush teeth. Brush hair. Shave. Dress. Breakfast.

Once I finished my coffee I regained the ability to think in more than fragments. Really it was lucky that no-one wanted to talk to me as I had a reputation for being rather more eloquent than I was capable of first thing in the morning.

Staring down at the students I could see Potter glaring at me. Nothing new there, then. It seemed that ever since seeing the memory of his idiotic father in my pensieve, Potter had begun hating me even more. Not that it mattered. Really, it made my job easier when he hated me. Feelings of hatred, irritation and annoyance the Dark Lord could see, but caring would get me killed. Get Potter killed. Well, it would get everyone killed in the end. Without my information the Order would be useless. No other Death Eater was likely to turn against the Dark Lord any time soon.

The first lesson was Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw first years. They were mostly capable of brewing the simpler drafts that were required of them. There were no accidents constantly waiting to happen. An easy lesson. A lecture I had given enough times before that I no longer needed to focus on what I was saying. Circulate the room, check that nothing was about to explode. Simple.

The second lesson was marginally more interesting as it contained the Lovegood girl. The combination of competent brewer and an inventive mind usually led to an interesting concoction, and her answers to questions were usually a little different to the textbook responses from other students, if regularly based more in fantasy than fact.

Lunch was more of the same. Picking at food while the other professor's chatted away next to me. They had long ago given up on engaging me in conversation, and I had no desire to attempt to change that. I enjoyed silence and solitude, and this was the closest thing I was likely to get in a building full of children.

There was a free period after lunch where I marked more essays that copied answers directly from either the course textbook or the essays of friends or older siblings who had taken the class before. Not a single Outstanding in the entire pile. Technically miss Granger's could have earned one, but I was more than capable of finding enough technicalities to dock a few points and give her an Exceeds Expectations instead. The glimmer of irritation in her eyes would make the extra work worth it.

A double period of Potter and his sidekicks to finish up the day. Thankfully next year I'd only have to deal with Granger. Potter and Weasley simply weren't able to focus long enough to make a perfect potion, and I'd bet my wand that they only studied because Granger forced them to.

No explosions from Longbottom, thanks to Miss Granger hissing instructions at him, while simultaneously brewing something that was near enough perfect. That might actually be worth an O, for a change. Her expression when I handed back the essays I had marked before the lesson had been wonderfully entertaining.

Almost immediately after the last lesson of the day, the mark on my arm began to burn. Hissing in pain, I ran to my quarters and grabbed my Death Eater robes, before striding purposefully towards Hogsmede. I apparated as soon as I got beyond the Hogwarts gates, straight to the Manor where the Dark Lord was currently residing. Locking down my occlumency shields and positioning my mask over a nose that was certainly not designed for this type of fashion statement, I walked in.

Revelry for the Death Eaters was never my cup of tea, really, but especially not now I had grown up. Murder, torture, unforgiveables flying left and right and almost hitting Bella, now that would be something different. A couple of the older students were there too, no idea how they got them out of the castle, especially without my assistance. A couple of body binds from me, trying to convince the death eaters to pass over at least a few of the muggles under the assumption that they were dead.

When I arrived back at the castle, I sent the students on ahead with the flimsy excuse that it would be safer if we were not seen together. Not strictly true, of course, as I would be notifying the relevant people as soon as possible that they had been recruited and that they had been able to sneak out of the school. Hopefully I wouldn't have to ask Lupin about the secret passageways we were still unaware of.

Finally, I was able to return to my quarters. I relaxed my mental shields and expelled the contents of my stomach as the reality of the events that night finally hit me full force. It never got any easier and it never would. I despised myself for what I was doing, although I knew it was necessary. Without me, the war would be over already. I just had to remember that and then, hopefully, I would survive this with my sanity in tact. I crawled back into bed and fell asleep, once more dreaming of a day when I would no longer have to return to my Lord's side, when I would be alone, when I would be free.

The next day was exactly the same. Get out of bed. Shower. Brush teeth. Brush hair. Shave. Dress. Breakfast.


End file.
